Congratulations!
You have a newborn!
Life as you know it is changed dramatically.
Lack of sleep and a bizarre fascination with bowel movements become the norm. As too, all those helpful blogs, parenting groups and midwife visits with their seemingly endless list of what you can and most definitely CANNOT do with your new, tiny human.
As a new parent, you diligently follow these ‘rules’.
But how many of these rules actually matter?
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of ‘rules’ that matter.
Feeding your baby.
Putting them in a safe car seat.
Having a safe place to sleep.
These are definitely non-negotiables.
But then there are some that are made to be broken/ignored.
You haven’t failed parenting because you didn’t use the organic laundry detergent for those tiny onesies.
The more comfortable you become with this parenting gig, the more you realise these ‘rules’ are just guidelines.
You can make it up as you go along, ensuring you have a functioning, well-adjusted child.
Fast forward five or six years and your little one is off to school.
You lovingly pack their bento style lunchbox (because no gladwrap is one of the new ‘rules’) and their hat into their bag, and send them on their way.
But did you remember to fill their virtual schoolbag?
Pat Thompson (2002) introduces us to the idea of a virtual school bag through Vicki and Thanh in her book Schooling the Rustbelt Kids: Making the difference in changing times.
Thanh is from a Vietnamese refugee family.
When he arrives at school his virtual school bag contains; three spoken languages, a love of books and music, a knowledge of the restaurant trade, an ability to get along with a variety of people and an understanding of the importance of education.
Then there is Vicki.
Vicki’s parents are tertiary educated, her mother runs her own business and her father is a high school teacher.
Her virtual school bag contains written and spoken English, appropriate book behaviours, knowledge of popular culture, Australia’s white colonial history, animals, business and basic computer skills.
It is the virtual school bags Vicki and Thanh carry that determine their success at school.
Add another six years, and your little munchkin who isn’t so little anymore, is off to high school.
It seems like only yesterday you were defending to all and sundry, your decision to pierce their ears at five.
But have you given any more thought as to the contents of their virtual school bag?
When those awkward pre-pubescent teens walk into their first class, teachers cannot tell the difference between breast and bottle fed babies.
Teachers have no idea who co-slept. Nor do they really care who had a dummy or a special teddy to help them go to sleep.
Teachers know who had books read to them continually.
Teachers know which parents, not only, value education, but see teachers as skilled professionals.
Teachers know who ate breakfast this morning, discussed the news with someone at home.
Teachers know who has access to the internet and a quiet place to do their homework.
With this knowledge, teachers can almost guess their students’ results before the kids submit their first assessment.
Suddenly all those parenting trends you obsessed over, don't matter so much.
When you focus on the long game, you realise it isn’t the type of lunchbox you pack.
It is your baby’s virtual school bag that trumps all else when you send them to school.
If you read them fairy tales, expected them to sit still and engaged with the illustrations, then, you have helped to pack an important element into their virtual school bag; book behaviours with a culturally valued text.
If you loaded up their virtual school bag with fluently spoken and some written English (sans swear words...) then you have given them the biggest step up in their education.
The education system values a certain type of knowledge.
This means some students are guaranteed more success than others.
Vicki will do better than Thanh. Because the education system, unfortunately, does not test his ability to get along with a variety of people.
The system will test Vicki on her ability to read, but not Thanh on his knowledge of traditional Vietnamese music.
Schools rely on implicit cultural knowledge, something Thanh lacks.
This is why Shrek is funny for adults, we get those sneaky “in jokes” because we know the story of Pinocchio for example.
For your baby at school the ability to understand those “in jokes” really does determine their success in the classroom.
Simply knowing a fairy tale begins with “Once upon a time…” suddenly becomes invaluable.
So next time you are being lectured by a well-intended stranger in the park on the benefits of co-sleeping and baby led weaning, remember the long game.
Whilst these things are important and essential to raise a new born, it is their virtual school bag that ultimately determines their future success at school and has life-long impacts.
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